What if Talking to Your Child Isn’t Something You’re Used To—But You Want to Start Now?
Conversations between parents and children should be two-way, not one-sided. But sometimes, after years of not having regular talks, both sides grow distant. The child becomes unaccustomed to opening up, and the parent feels unsure how to start.
So how do we rebuild that bridge?
How do we create a new habit where parent and child can talk freely, without fear, awkwardness, or walls between them?
The good news is—it’s never too late to start. Just like any habit, building open communication takes small, consistent steps, patience, and a lot of warmth. In the next parts, we’ll explore simple ways to break the ice, invite conversations naturally, and rebuild trust through everyday moments. What if your child doesn’t seem cooperative?
You’ve made time for them… but they prefer being alone in their room, hanging out with someone else, or glued to their gadgets. It can feel discouraging. But before we rush to fix the situation, let’s pause and reflect.
Ask yourself:
Am I giving them too much access to screens?
Do they feel closer to someone else?
Have I truly made myself emotionally available?
Have I lower my pride and approach them first?
Sometimes, children drift—not because they don't love us—but because we haven't created the emotional safety they need to open up.
Simple Steps to Earn Their Trust
See Ourself From How They React to Us
Do they smile, run for a hug, and ask to eat or talk together?
Or do they avoid eye contact, stay quiet, and retreat to their rooms?
Their reaction is often a mirror of what we’ve consistently offered.
It’s not about blame—it’s an invitation for us to check in with ourselves first.
Here is some questions we can ask to ourselves:
Have I often said, “Mommy’s busy—go play with your nanny”?
Have I been there physically, but absent emotionally?
Have I truly listened when they spoke?
Have I earned their trust—not demanded it?
Did I express my feelings openly, saying “I love you” or “I’m proud of you”?
Did I give them hugs?
Did I ever open up to them—about my day, my feelings, or even my childhood?
Have I ever asked for their opinion?
Build Connection, Not Control
Trust is built when we allow ourselves to be seen, too. Start by sharing your own stories, asking for their advice, telling a joke, or discovering a shared hobby. When they see you trust them, they’re more likely to trust you in return. Every little conversation—no matter how trivial—acts like a thread. And with enough threads, we create a bond that’s hard to break. So before asking your child to open up to you... try opening up to them first.
Create a Comfortable Space For Them to Open Up
This is a simple task but hard to start.
Just listen to what they're saying from start to finish.
Don't judge them when they starts opening up, do not cut their sentences.
Don't tell them if they are right or wrong.
Repeat their story first, simply to tell them that you are listening.
Ask some questions related to the stories, to show that you are interested.
Then put yourself in their point of view before telling them your opinion.
Adjust your excitement to theirs so they know you are not overreacting or minimizing their situation.
These three steps are powerful, reflect-approach-react. Some topics that you can come up with; their school life, find similar hobbies, share stories about your childhood, a funny office story, your friends group, or simply admitting that you're tired today—these make you more human and approachable in their eyes.
Let’s not wait until it’s too late.
Parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.