Raising a Confident Child: The 4 Things That Are Working for Me (So Far!)
I’ve always believed that confidence is one of the best gift we can give our kids—not the loud, show-off kind, but the quiet kind that helps them stand tall in their own choices and feelings.
For me, a truly confident child is one who is emotionally aware, understands the gain and consequences of their actions, feels secure in their decisions, and is comfortable in their own skin.
Lately, I’ve been focusing on how to nurture that kind of confidence in my little one. He’s 3 years and 4 months now, and while I’m still learning every day, there are four simple things I’ve been doing that seem to be making a difference.
I want to write this down—not just as a memory for myself—but maybe also for you, in case you’re figuring it out too.
1. Always Ask Him How He Feels (and Repeat It Back)
Every time something happens—big or small—I try to pause and ask, “How do you feel?” Then I repeat what he says, even if it's just, “You’re sad because your car broke?” or “You feel proud because you did it yourself?” It’s such a small thing, but I can tell it helps him make sense of what’s going on inside. I want him to feel safe with every emotion, not just the “nice” ones. If he can name his feelings, he can eventually learn to navigate them. Isn’t that what we all wish we’d learned earlier?
2. I Smile and Give a Thumbs Up When He Tries Something New.
He always looks at me when he’s doing something unfamiliar—like he's asking with his eyes, “Is this okay? Am I doing it right?” And I’ve learned that how I respond to him in that split second really matters. So now, I smile wide, give a big thumbs up, and let him enjoy it—even if he doesn’t do it perfectly. I want him to enjoy doing things more than to do it perfectly. After he’s more comfortable, then I gently guide him. But first, I just let him feel proud.
3. I Set Clear Rules—with Rewards and Consequences.
I used to think discipline meant being strict. Now I see it as creating a predictable world. We have simple rules: if he crosses a line, there’s a consequence. If he does good, he gets praised—and sometimes even a surprise reward. Nothing fancy, just something to show: “Hey, I saw that. You did great.” I think this helps him feel safe. He knows what to expect. He’s not walking on eggshells, trying to guess how I feel today. That calm shows in his behavior. He doesn’t panic—he knows what’s right and what’s not.
4. I Give Him Small Responsibilities—and Big Praise.
Cleaning up toys, putting books back, tidying the bed... it’s not about perfection. It’s about helping him feel capable. When he finishes, I cheer him on like he just built a rocket. And honestly? I think he feels like he did. These tiny responsibilities are planting seeds of pride and independence in him, which will become the best foundation of the self esteem he needs to live in the future.
The best part?
I can really see the change.
He’s sure of his choices, rarely changes his mind just because others do.
He finds ways to get what he wants without whining or giving up.
And when he’s unsure, he still checks in with me—and when I smile, he lights up.
He sings when he plays, he’s so full of life. I can feel he’s happy.
And isn’t that what we all want?
I’m sharing this because maybe you’re in the middle of figuring things out too. And maybe, just maybe, some of these little things can work for you too.
We’re all just trying to raise good humans.
Let’s keep going. Let’s keep learning.
Together.