How our kids treat people now is how they’ll treat people 20 years from now.
It may sound obvious, but it’s often overlooked.
I’ve seen it with my own eyes. My uncle, for example, always put his children above everything else. He was always number two, and they were number one. He pampered them endlessly—drivers always available, everything done for them. When he left for work, he never asked his kids to walk him to the gate. And now, decades later, it’s still the same. He is still number two in their lives.
On the other hand, I remember how my grandma and grandpa teach me with their own act. They always walked me to the front door when I left their house. It wasn’t a grand gesture, but it left a lasting mark. It was about respect. About presence. About love shown through small actions.
Now, I am fully aware of everything my son does.
I always imagine if it is okay for the 20-year-old him doing that. For example, when my husband leaves for the office in the morning, and he’s still eating breakfast or laying around in bed, it is not okay. So I tell him to walk his Dad to the gate. Also when guests come over, we say goodbye and wave until their car disappears. These little acts seems simple now but will matter a lot in the future.
Don’t do this to be praised. Don’t do it to impress anyone. Do it because it’s our responsibility to build habits in our children that help them function with respect in society.
Because what you teach them now, will be who they are in the next 20 years.
I’ve seen children yell at their moms to leave the room—and the mom obeys. That will repeat itself until adulthood.
I’ve seen toddlers demand, “Drink,” and the parent immediately fetches it. One day, they’ll be adults who never say “please,” simply because no one ever taught them to.
Some parents constantly switching schools, trying to find the “perfect fit.” An easier school because their child struggles. A fancier school so they fit in socially. A project-based school because the children dislike academics. But life doesn’t always offer a perfect fit. Sometimes, you have to adapt. And if we always took the opportunity for them to learn how to adapt to uncomfortable environment, they'll never develop the skill and always blame the situation.
Growing up, I learn the hard truth based on my own experiences. Everything you teach them now—or choose not to teach—becomes who they are 20 years from now.
Whether you want them to be resilient or vulnarable, empathetic or insensitive,
It’s your call.
Start now, while you still have the chance.